|
When "Rest Is Work Too©"... Downtime And The Autistic Child... Closely tied to the issue of hyperactivity is the fact that the autistic child, in my opinion, does not know “how to rest” and “do nothing” during the day. It is almost as though they must be constantly doing something during the day… that the “day” is for “doing things” and the night is for sleeping… and again, that there are no “in betweens” allowed when it comes to what the child does during his waking hours. If there is one thing I have observed with Zachary, it is that his autistic tendencies manifest themselves more if he is not specifically working on a task. During his "downtime", when no one is actually "working with him on specific issues", his preference is definitely to spend that time in bringing "order" back to his world, his way... and for the most part, that involves doing things like spinning. My sister and I were once joking about how many naps she took during the day... she is an elementary schoolteacher. I commented on the fact that she took many little "power naps" during her time off. As she looked over and grinned, my sister simply responded: "Rest Is Work Too©!" How true! For everyone... but, especially so for the autistic child! The autistic child appears to not know how to "truly rest", to "just relax". Indeed, his relaxation comes from often intense physical activity in the form of running, jumping (i.e., hyperactivity), spinning, etc. As such, during the day, the autistic child, in my opinion, experiences very little rest if he is unable to properly process the "parts" that make up "the whole" during his daily activities. Rest - yet another area to work on! For the autistic child downtime is not "rest" but an opportunity to slip further into the world of autism. As such, life becomes exhausting for parents who try to keep their children constantly engaged in the daily battle against autism... a battle waged every day, every hour, every minute, every second! In looking back, I realized that my husband and I were exhausted not from work, but were burned out because of all the work Zachary required. We had also not slept a full night's sleep in over two years until Zachary was put on a casein and gluten free diet. And the waking hours with our son were nothing short of completely exhausting. All opportunities for rest, both during the day and at night, had completely left our lives. Burned out, we had to leave corporate America and make a lifestyle change. Although things are better today, life with an autistic child continues to be draining and exhausting on all family members... but, for our family, institutionalization was not something we would have considered. Given what I now understand about autism, I'm glad that's a decision we made early on. It is especially critical to understand that institutions are, in my opinion, perhaps the worse thing/place for an autistic child. In an institution, the child, in my opinion, would have too much downtime... and thus, slip further and further into his own autistic world. I suspect few, if any caretakers in an institution would be there, constantly engaging and caring for an autistic child, every waking minute. Institutions simply don't work that way... and thus, in my strong opinion, simply don't work for the autistic child! Once again, I believe the key lies in teaching the concept of rest and what can be done during "rest times"... I still struggle with this one... as I'm sure all parents do. I'm not a person to take much "rest" in the first place. Yet, there are indeed times when the ability to rest at will would certainly be golden. The reality of life with an autistic child is that it is simply totally exhausting to constantly be engaging a child... exhausting for the child, and exhausting for the parent or caretaker... and exhausting for siblings as well. Indeed, for the entire family of the autistic child, and especially the autistic child himself, "Rest is work, too!©"... and in this particular work, as difficult and overwhelming as it is, there is no pay! |
|